With the things I do for a hobby (no, not for a living, although some of you may think that), I meet all kind of people in the entertainment industry. Mostly the music industry that is. Seeing how I love Hip Hop, I meet a lot of rappers.
Someone once said “Never date a rapper”.
That statement made me wonder. Wonder, “why not?”
So earlier today I decided to pick people’s brains on this statement. Why should one never date a rapper? I put that question on Twitter and the first reply I got was “Date the DJ instead”. It was obviously a joke seeing that came from a DJ. Yet it raised another question. Why would dating a DJ be “better” than dating a rapper? And what about singers, producers and other people in the industry? Are they good enough to date?
Most replies that I got to my questions on Twitter were agreeing with the “Never date a rapper” statement. Based upon the assumption that rappers are all “womanizers” exposed to a lot of temptations. A few replies:
Pornster, radio personality: “It comes down to anybody in the limelight who has to deal with exposure & temptations.”
D.S., producer: “Never date industry people, too much temptation.”
Benny Brown, radio personality: “Date someone outside the industry. He will take you for who you are and not for what you are. Outside the box thinking.”
What Benny was aiming at, was not so much what I meant. Just to clarify, it wasn’t a personal statement. The question really is; Why should someone never date a rapper? That could be applicable to any regular person (not me in particular) who is dating a rapper or wants to date a rapper for whatever reason. I noticed that a lot of people assume that rappers are assholes when it comes to relationships. People assume they are not capable of being in a relationship, based on the world they are living in. But why not?
Ethemadassassin, rapper: “As far as dealing with rappers you first have to deal with the groupie factor and be secure enough with yourself to not let them bother you. ALSO, you’ve gotta hope that you have a man/woman who appreciates what they have at home and isn’t interested in groupies. The majority of the male rappers are still chasing their dicks, so if you’re dealing with a man who still is in the chase and the chase is being presented to him, you have a problem on your hands. A DJ has damn near the same options as a rapper as far as sex and power. It all boils down to what the rapper/dj wants out of dating/the relationship…male or female.”
Which was a pretty interesting thought. Making a distinction between female and male rappers, as well as DJ’s. But it also brought me back to why people assume all rappers are bad for you when it comes to relationships. I mean, I know enough people in the industry who are great, wonderful, good spirited people. I wouldn’t judge them based on their profession.
E continues: “Most industry outsiders consider industry insiders to be either sex addicts or people who use sex as chess pieces, that’s why you bump into people with those assumptions. It’s like walking into a strip club and giving the strippers the benefit of the doubt and sayin “she’s probably not a whore, she might actually be payin her way through school.” In either situation, i’m sure you can find some diamonds, but u gotta dig through a lotta dirt to find them. Now that I think about it, I guess it really has nothing to do with whatever occupation that person has…it has everything to do with what that person wants out of life and if you can fit each other into the equation. That was an ill question…”
Guy Routte, artist manager and industry person who’s been around for a minute, actually pointed out a different view on this subject. He said: “Doctor, fed-ex employee, what’s the difference?”
I asked him, “You tell me, what’s the difference with dating a rapper?”
Guy: “Rappers have a warped sense of the world and a sense of entitlement that doesn’t bode well for relationships. Depends on what you are looking for in your dating life.”
Which made me ask him, “Dont doctors, lawyers or cops even, have that same sense of entitlement? Or people that know they’re gorgeous. People with big ego’s period.”
Guy: “No way, I’ve never seen anything like artists except athletes, it’s a very extremely rare position in life, tough to deal with. I’m just saying that’s the hurdle to get over, it would be like dating a head of state, it’s rare and comes with an extreme set of challenges. Doesn’t mean it can’t work, but it’s a unique approach to what working is.”
Interesting. But he has valid points. A rapper will speak from their experiences or from the experiences they witnessed from rappers close to them. Guy approached it from another point of view, more objective and also pointing out that the position a rapper has, is slightly different than one of the regular “successful” man. Which almost leads to the thought I have on this myself. And with me luckily more people as well.
Tim Pen, photographer: “Such bullshit! People are people. Musicians don’t have their own planet. Assholes have attitudes and big egos, thats all.”
Maren, mother: “Date anyone you like, just stay away from assholes and psychos.”
And that last statement, really says it all. In my opinion that is. After all, I am sort of in the industry, I’m not an asshole (unless you’re asking for it). Neither are the friends I have in the industry, like I stated before. And in every type of profession you have the good people and the assholes. I am very pro-individuality, therefore I never try to judge anybody. If you rock, you rock and I can hang with you. If you are an asshole, you’re an asshole and I probably won’t hang with you, no matter what you do for a living (or a hobby, ha).
Dating a rapper really is no different than dating anyone in a position carrying fame and certain status. The reason why rappers are more pointed out as negative in this subject, is probably also caused by the excessive flashing of booties and video vixens in the videos, amongst other macho behaviour that lives in their street culture. I feel the statement “Never date a rapper”, is not only putting rappers in a negative perspective again, but it also leads back to Hip Hop being put in a negative view. Guy: “Mick Jagger is the biggest ho.” And he didn’t say that to offend Mick Jagger, but to strengthen my point of it really not making any difference whether you date a rapper or whoever else.
Feel free to leave a comment with your thoughts on the statement “Never date a rapper”, or on anything mentioned in this piece, on this subject of dating a person in the industry.
Peace & Blessings. <3
Note: The word asshole in this piece is unisex.
If you date a person whom you know to be in a position of power, respect, authority who has access to women/men, then you have to understand the access and opportunity that person has lends itself to “sampling” (hip-hop tie-in…lol)
average joe blow cannot get groupie hoes (i.e. very pretty girls that average joes would love to smash on the daily), so take average joe, give him a Mic and now he becomes superstar (in the eyes of a groupie) and therefore you have created a fantasy-like environment. I mean I would like to fuck Vivica, Gabrielle, Lisa Raye, Melyssa Ford, etc. etc. but my name ain’t 50! But given the access an opportunity, i think most guys would love to have an ongoing fuckfest in cities around the globe with young, beautiful, willing women screaming your name. (at least that’s the fantasy…)
In reality you can date whomever you want, but I would think that most manwhores are that way because they CAN be. It reminds me of high school when every girl wanted the same 5 dudes and the rest of the guys just had to make do with what they can get. But hwo can you blame a rapper when, just like the football jock ALL the girls want to sleep with him.
Suppose you knew a lame dude before he dropped an album, went on tour and experiences some thick German chic waiting in the lobby after the show to drop draws. Would he have changed? We would like to think not, but putting some royalites in one’s pockets and some per diem and the chance to travel and expand past the same chics from the hometown who were clowning you last year when you said “i’m gonna be a rapper” and are now on your sac like genital crabs prolly doesn’t make most dudes feel they need to be humble still.
And living in L.A. I see how the industry lends itself to dating/fucking other people in the industry, cause average joes or janes have no clue how to handle the hectic schedule of studios, interviews, planes, tour buses, guest appearance, radio, etc. etc. It’s not a 9 to 5 job. So maybe it’s best to date someone who understands the demands of your “job” as music industry professional.
I would say never date a married rapper.
Never date a married man/woman, no matter what their occupation is.
pppffff Let me be honest. I do not agree with a lot that is being said here. There is one sentence I do agree with though; ‘Never date a rapper’.
No I am not a victim of ever loving one. haha Eventhough my boyfriend/fiancee/soulmate used to be a DJ and has always been a part of the music industry.
When I first met him, and we were past the ‘getting to know’ each other part I noticed I wasn’t his number 1 love. And I don’t mean to say ‘He just wasn’t into me’, but I noticed I just had to share him with someone/something.
Her name was music. I truely hate that b!tch. No lies there. She was the biggest reason of breakup number 1 and the main reason of many many fights. It took him to see I was needed in his life,not as his number 2 but as his number 1, after a year of not seeing me and hearing from me and totally being into music.
ok so let talk about the experiences I had with a lot of girly friends of mine. I had them crying on my shoulders, crying while talking to me on the phone, crying at my job etc.
All because of ‘a rapper’.
Us women who love someone who dedicated his life to the b!tch Music….we just have to accept the fact that we will always have to share his love with her.
Because if we would force him to leave her….his heart will be broken.
(I, therefor, am one of the lucky ones, eventhough there are times I also have to accept the fact that he wants to hang out with music every now and then, but as his wifey, I will always let him, because I love the man that he is, not the man I want him to be)
“Trouw nooit met een dichter mijn dochter, zo een met een dichterskop,
zo eentje met lange haren, want die wordt er met de jaren, ook niet monogamer op.
Wat jij in hem lief hebt mijn dochter, dat staat in zijn bundeltje, donkere sneeuw.
Daar in staat al het verhevene, de rest krijg je ’s ochtends bij zevenen, thuis, als een meeuw.
Trouw liever de kruidenier mijn dochter, want alle tederheid die bij hem uitstijgt boven de kersenjam, en boven de kleine zakjes blauw, dochter, is allemaal voor jouw.”
Annie M. G. Schmidt.
In our line of work, overlap is inevitable, and they say you usually find people to date…at work. So who’s to say that being female in a position to receive certain amount of attention and access to the booty that I won’t take advantage?
In my experience, i’ve noticed that it has to do with personal values on a deep down level. I talked to someone who wold be the perfect example on the outside of what a woman would seem to want but then he really indulged in the pleasures that his line of work in the industry bring. It always had me on edge, because i knew it wasn’t me (cause i’m awesome…lol) or anything i wasn’t doing. He was wired like that.
On the flipside, I took a chance and started talking to a different performer and he too had many female friends, many of which openly make it known they are more than interested. And he had no interest in anything but our relationship. It just wasn’t in him to go and take advantage of the “perks”. I felt nothing but secure, never once wondered about his actions. I get love and respect 100%…
So go on, date a rapper/performer/dj/tv-radio host…they’re just ordinary people with extraordinary opportunities to fcuk. If a person is a certain way, their gonna act upon it. Its up to you to decide the way you want people to treat you.
“Never date a rapper.” “Why not ?”
It’s the question you should ask yourself with your own rules and principles in mind while you had your first impressions of the one you are willing to date.
If it comes to the scene of dating* someone in the industry, the first things that are poppin’ in my head are sincere- interests, fun and equality. I mean this mentally goes deeper than just “hanging out” so you both will be exposed to each other in a state of reality..impressions : senses will receive sign’s & the true self will give a reply to that. Just like if you would date a lumberjack which caught your interests. But it off course all depends on a individual person’s idea of dating. My word on the overall : just stay true to yourself & keep it real with another.
Like I wrote yesterday, it really depends on the person. NO matter if it’s a Rapper, a DJ or whoever there are nice people and there are assholes, just like “regular” people. So you should definitely take your time to get to know the person.
@rezones……..perfect reply fam. Just perfect. On the other hand Pay, i would tell anybody not to date a rapper, but get themselves an emcee…..LOL!!
alex
people are people and we are ALL susceptible to the same emotions and temptations…..NO ONE is excluded. industry heads have an all access pass to just about everything,so the brighter you shine the more access you have to things (the word things in this equation pertains to people and places as well). so we’re talkin about a character flaws that pertain to EVERYONE ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH
(the flaws being lust and temptation) we all fall victim @ some point or another just on different levels.
I dont see why one shouldnt date a rapper, a person is a person first and then a rapper second if you like being with many women by nature being a rapper only enhances what you are. What if I said dont date a golfer (wink) cause they are boring I would be dead wrong.