With the things I do for a hobby (no, not for a living, although some of you may think that), I meet all kind of people in the entertainment industry. Mostly the music industry that is. Seeing how I love Hip Hop, I meet a lot of rappers.

Someone once said “Never date a rapper”.
That statement made me wonder. Wonder, “why not?”

So earlier today I decided to pick people’s brains on this statement. Why should one never date a rapper? I put that question on Twitter and the first reply I got was “Date the DJ instead”. It was obviously a joke seeing that came from a DJ. Yet it raised another question. Why would dating a DJ be “better” than dating a rapper? And what about singers, producers and other people in the industry? Are they good enough to date?

Most replies that I got to my questions on Twitter were agreeing with the “Never date a rapper” statement. Based upon the assumption that rappers are all “womanizers” exposed to a lot of temptations. A few replies:

Pornster, radio personality: “It comes down to anybody in the limelight who has to deal with exposure & temptations.”

D.S., producer: “Never date industry people, too much temptation.”

Benny Brown, radio personality: “Date someone outside the industry. He will take you for who you are and not for what you are. Outside the box thinking.”

What Benny was aiming at, was not so much what I meant. Just to clarify, it wasn’t a personal statement. The question really is; Why should someone never date a rapper? That could be applicable to any regular person (not me in particular) who is dating a rapper or wants to date a rapper for whatever reason. I noticed that a lot of people assume that rappers are assholes when it comes to relationships. People assume they are not capable of being in a relationship, based on the world they are living in. But why not?

Ethemadassassin, rapper: “As far as dealing with rappers you first have to deal with the groupie factor and be secure enough with yourself to not let them bother you. ALSO, you’ve gotta hope that you have a man/woman who appreciates what they have at home and isn’t interested in groupies. The majority of the male rappers are still chasing their dicks, so if you’re dealing with a man who still is in the chase and the chase is being presented to him, you have a problem on your hands. A DJ has damn near the same options as a rapper as far as sex and power. It all boils down to what the rapper/dj wants out of dating/the relationship…male or female.”

Which was a pretty interesting thought. Making a distinction between female and male rappers, as well as DJ’s. But it also brought me back to why people assume all rappers are bad for you when it comes to relationships. I mean, I know enough people in the industry who are great, wonderful, good spirited people. I wouldn’t judge them based on their profession.

E continues: “Most industry outsiders consider industry insiders to be either sex addicts or people who use sex as chess pieces, that’s why you bump into people with those assumptions. It’s like walking into a strip club and giving the strippers the benefit of the doubt and sayin “she’s probably not a whore, she might actually be payin her way through school.” In either situation, i’m sure you can find some diamonds, but u gotta dig through a lotta dirt to find them. Now that I think about it, I guess it really has nothing to do with whatever occupation that person has…it has everything to do with what that person wants out of life and if you can fit each other into the equation. That was an ill question…”

Guy Routte, artist manager and industry person who’s been around for a minute, actually pointed out a different view on this subject. He said: “Doctor, fed-ex employee, what’s the difference?”

I asked him, “You tell me, what’s the difference with dating a rapper?”

Guy: “Rappers have a warped sense of the world and a sense of entitlement that doesn’t bode well for relationships. Depends on what you are looking for in your dating life.”

Which made me ask him, “Dont doctors, lawyers or cops even, have that same sense of entitlement? Or people that know they’re gorgeous. People with big ego’s period.”

Guy: “No way, I’ve never seen anything like artists except athletes, it’s a very extremely rare position in life, tough to deal with. I’m just saying that’s the hurdle to get over, it would be like dating a head of state, it’s rare and comes with an extreme set of challenges. Doesn’t mean it can’t work, but it’s a unique approach to what working is.”

Interesting. But he has valid points. A rapper will speak from their experiences or from the experiences they witnessed from rappers close to them. Guy approached it from another point of view, more objective and also pointing out that the position a rapper has, is slightly different than one of the regular “successful” man. Which almost leads to the thought I have on this myself. And with me luckily more people as well.

Tim Pen, photographer: “Such bullshit! People are people. Musicians don’t have their own planet. Assholes have attitudes and big egos, thats all.”

Maren, mother: “Date anyone you like, just stay away from assholes and psychos.”

And that last statement, really says it all. In my opinion that is. After all, I am sort of in the industry, I’m not an asshole (unless you’re asking for it). Neither are the friends I have in the industry, like I stated before. And in every type of profession you have the good people and the assholes. I am very pro-individuality, therefore I never try to judge anybody. If you rock, you rock and I can hang with you. If you are an asshole, you’re an asshole and I probably won’t hang with you, no matter what you do for a living (or a hobby, ha).

Dating a rapper really is no different than dating anyone in a position carrying fame and certain status. The reason why rappers are more pointed out as negative in this subject, is probably also caused by the excessive flashing of booties and video vixens in the videos, amongst other macho behaviour that lives in their street culture. I feel the statement “Never date a rapper”, is not only putting rappers in a negative perspective again, but it also leads back to Hip Hop being put in a negative view. Guy: “Mick Jagger is the biggest ho.” And he didn’t say that to offend Mick Jagger, but to strengthen my point of it really not making any difference whether you date a rapper or whoever else.

Feel free to leave a comment with your thoughts on the statement “Never date a rapper”, or on anything mentioned in this piece, on this subject of dating a person in the industry.

Peace & Blessings. <3

Note: The word asshole in this piece is unisex.